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THE LEFT HAND COLUMN

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Giving SC. Equal Time:

Juror arrested for carrying pot into courthouse

(maybe it would help the Tyco trial)

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And Oh, Just Ewwww

(out of Asheville, NC.)

Body parts found on parkway

See what they find when the snow starts to melt? When bears litter...

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at March 29, 2004 17:47 | link | comments

Blogservations

Bloggerel, me, that is to say, I have been thinking a lot lately about regret. Not what all eight of you stop by to read, I know. Please indulge me.

We all have things we regret. Old things, like the way we treated one another in junior high school or the way we acted when our first crush told us to take a hike so we staked out her bus stop and threw dirt clods from behind Mr. & Mrs. Crabtree's hedge, yeah, that's what we did... Old things like that.

Newer regrets like not being a better friend or making the same mistakes over and over like breathing in and out in and out. Not the exact same mistake, oh no, a bigger and better one every time. A mutated one. A larger more horrible version of the original mistake so colossal and unexplainable that anyone nearby risks being sucked into the vortex to die along with me or, at the very least, stunned to semi-consciousness by the sheer idiocy of it and left damaged and laid waste by the side of some back road with a six-pack of beer and a bad taste in their mouth.

Well, maybe not.

There's a passage in The Flies, Sartre's version of Electra, that speaks to that, to regret. How there is no "moving on" in true regret. That's what it's all about, carrying around the little and large guilts that make up regret. Carrying them forever. To learn humility. To release pride. To learn the lessons of regret.

Yep, that's what I've been thinking about lately.

A wasteland of regret. Craggy, sharp and dangerous to cross. And the end never comes. A recalled sound, a flash of memory, it's all laid bare again and again. Open wounds that weep and fester and remind and recall. Sensibilities assaulted by images just vague and dark enough to be more real than any nightmare. Rushes of thought just blurred at the glass edges and roaring loudly enough still to cut through years of denial.

And all you want is to be believed when you say you're sorry. To somehow have it convey more than any words you know can express. To have it mean as much as it feels. Without opening up your still-new, yet old and terrible wounds. The only way that seems possible is to somehow live an act of contrition. To work against the regret by embracing it. To do something for someone else for once, a clumsy tribute, hapless homage, an apology. My apology. Also my thanks.

Who I was fuels my regret. Who I am fans the flames of my remorse. All that I am is in some way powered by remorse and regret.

That said...

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at March 29, 2004 15:15 | link | comments

Best Headline So Far Today:

(or: More Work For Alanis Morissette)

New Depp film needs 300 naked extras
Johnny Depp's new film needs 300 naked extras.

Ok, ok, so they have to be naked, you say?

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at March 29, 2004 14:34 | link | comments

Blogservations

* Still OMY-ING Condoleezza (Just When You Think You've Spelled It Right) Rice and the paddy she's trying to protect: King George's. "Can't approve. Wouldn't be prudent..." (Dana Carvey doing King Daddy).

* For the edyewmuhkaded: Imagine seeing something like this after 20 or so years:

Two pipes are connected to the same tank. When working together they can fill the tank in 2 hours. The large pipe, working alone, can fill the tank in 3 hours less time than the smaller one. How long would the smaller one take, working alone, to fill the tank?

...You heard me!

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The Bloggerel "Friday Five"

(For anyone missing today's Friday Five)

1. If you could visit anywhere (present day), where would it be?

2. If you could eat only one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

3. Who is your favorite family member (go on, commit!)?

4. When are you most annoyed?

5. What keeps you breathing in and out?

Bloggerel would say to post the questions and answers at www.fridayfive.org if you want to, they deserve the credit. But you can't. So don't. So do it on your weblog with your own questions. That way they'll know how much we missed them.

1. Montana.

2. Cheesecake! Wait, does beer count?

3. My Mom (hi, mom).

4. When stuck behind a car going 30 in a 55 zone.

5. Knowing things will eventually get better, even if they won't.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at March 26, 2004 10:32 | link | comments

Best Headline So Far Today (political):

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at March 26, 2004 08:56 | link | comments

Best Headline So Far Today:

Enrique Iglesias says he may have world's smallest penis
Go figure...

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at March 24, 2004 10:15 | link | comments

Best Headline So Far Today (Tampa):

Our Witch Hunt Needs To Point More Fingers
STEVE OTTO

If you're not from here and aren't aware of the Trolley issue, Steve puts it in a nutshell and in real perspective. Basically, the Ybor trolley is getting money that was allocated for bus service and the Transit Authority has been, er, um, less than honest about it. It's all about local politics and money and the usual garbage coming out of the Hillsborough County Commission, becoming more and more like the Tampa City Council every day.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at March 23, 2004 10:35 | link | comments

What the Hell are YOU Looking At?

 

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at March 22, 2004 17:36 | link | comments

Best Headline So Far Today:

Morissette says she likes to walk around house naked
Alanis Morissette says she likes to walk naked around her home.

Ok, so maybe it's not weird or "quirky," but in case she's reading this: Alanis, it would be much more unusual if you came to walk naked around the Bloghaus. Really. You're invited.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at March 22, 2004 12:25 | link | comments

Best (??) Headline So Far Today:

Virgin Atlantic clubhouse urinals are the shape of a woman's open mouth
Virgin Atlantic has opened a new clubhouse at JFK airport in New York that features a urinal in the shape of a woman's open mouth.

*Bloggerel was speechless...until:

Virgin Atlantic cans lip-shaped urinals in U.S.

*Unbelievable, you think the world is making progress...

 

Blogservations

* OMG II: Bloggerel has previously written about the infamous "banana hammock." Today, much to her horror, she actually saw someone wearing one in public. Not 'in public' as in at the beach. This guy was in a 7-11 buying a slurpee (how apropos). He was wearing a black speedo (banana hammock), nekked from the waist up. As if that wasn't bad enough, after paying for gasoline, Bloggerel's partner elbowed her in the ribs, "Check it out!" she hissed. There was banana hammock man swinging his leg over his Harley chopper. Try and picture it. Why? Because it's like looking at a really bad accident as you drive by: it IS a really bad accident. Guy in a speedo, leaned 'way back on his chopper, airing his differences to all the world. Thank you, Lord, for making Bloggerel a lesbian.

Bloggerel never has her camera when she needs it.

* OMG. Anyone "average" looking want to feel superior to a "supermodel," even if only for an hour? Check out America's Next Top Model with Tyra Banks. Bloggerel never heard so much whining or saw so many crybabies in her entire life...and she used to tend bar. One potential cries because they cut her hair too short:

"B-b-but I l-l-l-look l-l-like a b-b-b-boooooyeeeeee!"

Another feels slighted because she overslept and all the other potentials left her snoring:

"I just can't beleeeeeeve those bitches! After everything I did!"

There were tears over roommate arguments, tears over being afraid of heights, tears over having to pose nude (airbrushed), tears over breakfast, lunch and dinner. Bloggerel counted 32 breakdowns in one hour. That must be some kind of record.

Your grateful blogger never felt more beautiful.

Friday (Saturday) Five! (via Friday Five)

If you...

1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?

2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?

3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be?

4. ...ran a school, what would you teach?

5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?

Ok, here goes. (Late again):

1. Seafood (It is Florida, after all), but not all that fried crap (of course, there's always a place for fried clams, mmmm).

2. Outdoor sports equipment and apparel.

3. Humor (You thought maybe a sex manual, didn't you? Of course, to me, that's funny...).

4. Can you teach common sense? I always thought no, but maybe it's possible.

5. Sort of an alternative/reggae/bluegrass/jazz/folkie/metal/dance/Broadway show tune fusion album.

Just call me White Rabbit (because "I'm late, I'm late!").

* WeatherPixie, WeatherPixie, wherefore art thou WeatherPixie?

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at March 20, 2004 10:24 | link | comments

Friday Five (via Margaret Cho)

Five Questions posed by the weblog Friday Five:

1. What was the last song you heard?

2. What were the last two movies you saw?

3. What were the last three things you purchased?

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?

5. Who are the last five people you talked to?

Ummm...

1.  Fly Me To The Moon-Sinatra

2.  Cold Mountain, Mona Lisa Smile.

3.  Breakfast, lunch, gasoline.

4.  Hit the Renaissance Fest, finish the laundry, wash the dogs, weed the garden, visit mom.

5.  Kim, Evelyn, Mom, my sister, my niece.

Just one comment: I hope this wasn't supposed to be interesting.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at March 18, 2004 16:28 | link | comments

Blogservations

* Unfortunate news: gotta add Melissa Ferrick to the growing list of ecologically incorrect cruise ship performers. And on a Carnival ship, no less. And in Key West. Damn.

* More arrogance? Just in from retirees of the US Park Service, referring to budget cuts effectively being hidden by the Bush administration:

“If you think that some of your specific plans will cause a public or political controversy, Marie and I need to know which ones are likely to end up in the media or result in a congressional inquiry,” says the memo sent Feb. 20 by Chrysandra Walter, the Park Service’s deputy director for the Northeast region. Walter was referring to Marie Rust, the Park Service’s director for the Northeast region, who is based in Philadelphia. Walter also wrote that she was relaying instructions from Randy Jones, the Park Service’s deputy director.

“Randy felt that the issuance of a press release was the most problematic,” she wrote. “He suggested that if you feel you must inform the public ... not to directly indicate that ’this is a cut’ in comparison to last year’s operation,” she continued. “We all agreed to use the terminology of ’service level adjustment’ due to fiscal constraints as a means of describing what actions we are taking.”

* George Bush, pronouncing the word 'nuclear': "Newcular." George Bush, pronouncing the word 'terrorists': "Tearist." Juvenile, yes, but still amusing.

* Do we need another example of the Bush administration's arrogance? Why, yes, you may say, yes we do. So Bloggerel presents Justice Antonin Scalia's excuse for not recusing himself from proceedings involving his ol' buddy ol' pal, the appropriately named Dick Cheney:

"Even one unnecessary recusal impairs the functioning of the court," Scalia wrote in a 21-page memo.

a) Twenty-one pages for that? b) Can anyone say, "conservative judge with a right-wing agenda?"

* Was reading a fellow blogger's entry yesterday about why people blog, why they stop blogging, why they blog intermittently, why they turn off their comments...it was a little deep. Bloggerel turned off her comments when she started getting nasty emails because *gasp* suddenly her blog seemed so GAY, apparently. Seems people who want to be abusive do so via email anyway (it's so anonymous) so why bother with comment space? The few who have anything nice to say can figure out where the email button is and talk to me anytime. Bloggerel admits to enjoying reading her comments (few as they are) but figures why not save Motime some bandwidth?

This blogger went on to provide advice for bloggers who want to be popular within "the blogging community." Personally, who cares? This blog began with an eye towards skills-sharpening. Bloggerel does not compete in popularity contests as she is just too old for that crap and never won one, anyway. She shows other bloggers her appreciation by commenting on their weblogs and sending the invited email, but certainly not with an eye towards increased readership, hence dropping the counter.

If you like it here, visit often. If you don't, don't. It's so simple.

Maybe someone should start a weblogging version of Friendster for these guys.

* Celtic day at the Bay Area Renaissance Festival is Saturday, March 20. It's now relocated from the Largo Public Library area (those damn fools!) to the open area behind MOSI in Tampa (across from USF). It's not as sylvan as the library property but, hey, what with all the whining over the years emitting from the city powers-that-be...you take your festival somewhere else. So, BUH-bye Largo merchants. Say good-bye to all that money from food sales, gasoline-now topping $1.72 per gallon, and slurpees. Also, it's half as far. Yay!

* Ha ha ha to the blog-niece and her squeeze in Queens and also her friends in Asheville. It's just so nice and toasty warm here... (Don't forget there's a guest room.).

* Want to insult a conservative? Click here. (Thanks to Denizens of the Tower).

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at March 18, 2004 09:15 | link | comments

Best Headline So Far Today:

US church offers Holy Communion to pets
A church in Connecticut is giving Holy Communion to pets and offering them special worship services.

Yeah, but try and get married if you happen to be gay...

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at March 18, 2004 07:07 | link | comments

Blogservations

* Happy St. Patrick's Day! Or: Beannachtai na Feile Padraig! Say it with me! "bann/ockt/tee nih fail/eh pawd/rig!" Your reward is a green beer at O'Brien's or the Fox & Hound in Brandon. Sláinte!

* Welcome back, Weatherpixie!

* How much do you think Angelina Jolie will mess with Ellen on today's show? Tee hee. Update: Surprisingly, not at all but you can tell Ellen would have her back anytime. And the Olympic torch-carrying stroller was fun.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at March 17, 2004 10:08 | link | comments

Best Headline So Far Today:

Man's longstanding condition draws a crowd in hospital
A man has become a tourist attraction in the Dominican Republic after admitting himself to hospital with an erection that had lasted six days.

*snort*

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at March 17, 2004 10:06 | link | comments