Closed Until Further Notice

THE LEFT HAND COLUMN

The American Red Cross

Blogcritics: news and reviews

blogroll

snappy rejoinders and snarky remarks

Anonymous on How to ...

Counter

over *loading* bajillion snorts and eyerolls

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...
(via cnn.com)

It's almost here! July 4th. Independence Day. Celebration of American Freedom. Time to bring in your pets!

Police: Pups killed with fireworks placed in their mouths

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at June 30, 2004 06:38 | link | comments (1)

Saturday, June 26, 2004

F***er Update

As Bloggerel reported yesterday, Vice and Co-President Dick Cheney got into a pissing match Thursday with Senator Patrick Leahy, telling him to "F*** off" or "F*** you."

Today, instead of simply apologizing for using profanity in a heated exchange (It's reported Mr. Leahy unwittingly said "hello" to the Co-President), Mr. Dick defended his words:

"Ordinarily I don't express myself in strong terms, but I thought it was appropriate here," Cheney said on Fox.

"I think that a lot of my colleagues felt that what I had said badly needed to be said, that it was long overdue."

A few minor points: didn't all our moms teach us about swearing? About how it's the last resort of tiny minds? My mom used to quote some guy, who knows who-she's really smart, who said, "Violence in the voice is the death-rattle of reason in the mind." Plus, while looking up the word 'apologizing' (a word I typically misspell...every single blessed time), my eyes fell on the word ARROGANT.

And it appears Mr. Dick is actually using the "He Had It Coming" defense, made famous by the hit film Chicago.

 "Pop." "Six." "Squish." "Uh-uh." "Cicero." "Lipschitz." "Cheney."

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at June 26, 2004 05:46 | link | comments (2)

Friday, June 25, 2004

F*** You, Too, Mr. Cheney

(and $&$@!#*!@, too)

It's being widly reported this morning that Dick Cheney, speaking from an undisclosed location on the Senate floor, told Senator Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., to "F*** off" or "F*** you" in response to a comment made by Mr. Leahy questioning the Vice-President's honesty, integrity and choice of suits. Mr. Leahy, in case you were wondering, leads the charge to investigate war profiteering by Halliburton, Mr. Dick's former (*cough cough*) employer.

Mr. Leahy's response? "I told him his suit definitly makes his ass look big."

As he exited the floor, Mr. Cheney was heard muttering, "It does not, you f***er! F*** off, all of you, you f***ing f***ers! I'm the Co-President, you f***ers! F*** off!"

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at June 25, 2004 06:29 | link | comments

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Master of Puppets

Justice Dept. disavows torture memo
(via msnbc.com)

The memo, signed by former Assistant Attorney General Jay Bybee, included long sections that appeared to defend the use of torture and contended that U.S. personnel could be immune from prosecution. The memo also argued that the president’s powers as commander in chief allowed him to override U.S. laws and international treaties banning torture.

"I am your source of self destruction...Taste me you will see/More is all you need/You're dedicated to/How I'm killing you/Master of puppets I'm pulling your strings/Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams."Metallica, Master of Puppets

Okay, so he's not cocaine and there wasn't even a party first. Unless you count the Clinton administration.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at June 23, 2004 09:38 | link | comments

Friday, June 18, 2004

Ah, Radio

So I'm heading to class, radio blaring, pull up at a red light and the commercial starts:

"Men, do you have trouble climaxing during sex?"

Uh, what?

"Do you climax too soon?"

Excuse me?

"Do you want longer, deeper, more satisfying sexual intercourse?"

What? Is this Clearchannel?

"You'll be able to pleasure your partner again and again."

I mean, really, what more is there to say after that? I can't even remember the name of the product: Peenie-pepper-upper, I think.

And I thought tampon ads were embarrassing...

*SNORT*

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at June 18, 2004 06:51 | link | comments (1)

Monday, June 14, 2004

Bypass Online Newspaper Registrations

bugmenot.com (via cnn.com)

"BugMeNot.com was created as a mechanism to quickly bypass the login of web sites that require compulsory registration and/or the collection of personal/demographic information (such as the New York Times)."

Bloggerel SO agrees!

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at June 14, 2004 12:10 | link | comments

Sunday, June 13, 2004

I'm Not Saying This Might Be A Good Idea Or Anything Like That...

Ireland agrees to change birth law (via cnn.com)

Dublin says non-EU nationals come to give birth in Ireland so they can then claim residency as parents of children who automatically become Irish citizens.

In a decision sure to anger campaigners for immigrants' rights, nearly 80 percent of voters in Friday's referendum backed a government proposal to amend the rules on citizenship in the constitution.

Hard decisions need to be made in this country. None of them will please everyone but we, as a nation, have to start somewhere. Some have suggested a moratorium on immigration and I support that.

Feel insulted, if you wish. Be mad. But look deeper and think about it for yourselves. If you lived in a state as effected by immigration as Florida or California, you'd be thinking this stuff, too.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at June 13, 2004 07:19 | link | comments

Saturday, June 12, 2004

Come Fly With Me....

From The St. Pete Times:

 TIA now verifies flight of Saudis (via TPM)

TAMPA - Two days after the Sept. 11 attacks, with most of the nation's air traffic still grounded, a small jet landed at Tampa International Airport, picked up three young Saudi men and left.

The men, one of them thought to be a member of the Saudi royal family, were accompanied by a former FBI agent and a former Tampa police officer on the flight to Lexington, Ky.

The Saudis then took another flight out of the country. The two ex-officers returned to TIA a few hours later on the same plane.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at June 12, 2004 14:49 | link | comments

'Nother Observation

Just home from grocery shopping. I know, stop the presses, right? But remember last November, a whole 7 months ago, we noted the price of milk at just over $3.00 a gallon. Gas was $1.32.

Welcome to June, 2004. Milk is $3.65 a gallon and gasoline is $1.92.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at June 12, 2004 14:15 | link | comments

And Last But Not Least...

Childless couple told to try sex
A German couple who went to a fertility clinic after eight years of marriage have found out why they are still childless - they weren't having sex.

*SIGH* Straight people, I swear.....

F*cking villagers vote against name change

*SIGH* Those F*cking villagers!

Former cook 'put semen in sandwiches'

Welcome to Waterloo, Illinois, home of "Semennaise."


Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at June 12, 2004 10:00 | link | comments

I Told You Those "Queer Eye" Guys Were Annoying

Decorators forced to stop work at gunpoint

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at June 12, 2004 09:56 | link | comments

From The Borowitz Report

(In Case You ARE Caught Up In The Hooplah)

CANADA REFUSES TO CHANGE ITS NAME TO RONALD REAGAN

Republicans Blast Canadians as ‘Ingrates’



Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at June 12, 2004 09:47 | link | comments

Overheard...

"You need to pump up the blackitude."

"Take those comic books and alpha-numericanize them."

"Corporate spokeswhore."

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at June 12, 2004 07:24 | link | comments

Friday, June 11, 2004

Stupid Google Searches

No, John Gruden is NOT gay. McCauley Culkin does NOT buy T-shirts here. Anna Kournikova does NOT have a penis smaller than Enrique Eglesias. I don't know ANYTHING about Yale Bulldog soccer, am NOT selling e-mail directories, there are NO naked spring break pics here, NOTHING to do with red-haired girls, ALL the Lightning headlines are correct (sorry Calgary), and I NEVER said Mary Carillo is gay. It would be nice.....but I never said it.

So how about you idiots over at GOOGLE or FLOOGLE or PIMPLY-FACED GOOBER BOYS or whatever you stupid search-engine web crawlers call yourselves stop being so annoying? Improve your program!

What a bunch of morons.

And no, I don't know anything about Victoria's Secret drug testing.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at June 11, 2004 22:11 | link | comments

That Said...

This is the shit going on in MY town right now:

 Girl Left For Dead In Trash Bin

 Two Charged In Connection with Girl Found In Dumpster

Girl Dumped In Garbage Bin Dies

Dead Teen's Mom Angry At Release In Slaying

What's happening in YOUR neck of the woods?

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at June 11, 2004 21:41 | link | comments