Closed Until Further Notice

THE LEFT HAND COLUMN

• 
• 
• 
•  

blogroll

"Is there a Mrs. Uranus here?"

Understand, I hardly ever ask my better half to run to the grocery store for me. Firstly, I enjoy cooking and, so, don't mind the shopping part. Secondly, well, secondly you'll see in a minute.

So it's after six. I have Mondays off so that's chore day. Which leaves partner to bat clean-up. I hand her a list which includes hamburger, chicken and brown eggs, among other items.

Okay. So the eggs come back, not only brown, but vegetarian-fed and free range, too. The cider? My latest kick. It was a weird logo but decent cider.

I should preface most of this by saying that we often, the love of my life and I, chuckle over what comes back when she gets sent to the grocers. It's mostly what I wanted...just a little different sometimes. Like this time. Generally, no damage done--or not much.

Then I look at the receipt.

It's actually funny...at first. If I were the checkout attendant, I would have busted out laughing: free range, vegan eggs on the same ticket as canned tuna cat food, ground beef and fried chicken.

After that, I see that those brown eggs I asked for, fed vegetables by hand on the zephyrs of the open prairie, cost almost $3.00.

"That should have been the tip-off," I tell her. "I'm too cheap to buy three dollar eggs."

My love turns to me, sensing another shopping trip gone awry and preparing to tell me how I can always do it myself should I not care for her product selection. I can see this because her eyes are slowly squinting into nothingness, like Dirty Harry's.

"Well," I shrug defensively. "On what planet do eggs cost three dollars a dozen?"

"I don't know," she she tosses over her shoulder, en route to her office/dungeon.

"Uranus?"

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at November 28, 2006 12:46 | link | comments
food, bitches, gay unions

Again...Shocked!

No More Rock for Pam: Anderson Files for Divorce

What can I say?

Shocked.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at November 27, 2006 14:58 | link | comments
shockers, celebrity crap

Is Tampa Suing Anybody?

Dateline: Boston: State to sue Big Dig firms in tunnel collapse

Dateline: Tampa: Tolls Going Up

Screw up in Boston, you get sued. Screw up in Tampa, the tolls go up.

Is anyone being sued over the expressway collapse?

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at November 27, 2006 11:17 | link | comments
news, tampa, glitches, crosstown

Why Mass Gov Mitt Romney is a Great Big Asshole
(via nytimes.com, login required)

"Gov. Mitt Romney filed a lawsuit Friday asking the state’s highest court to order the legislature to vote on a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage or to place it on the 2008 ballot if lawmakers do not take up the provision."

...in the only state where it's legal. He wants to ride this wave of haterating all the way to the White House.

Mitt Romney. Name on the door. Remember it.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at November 25, 2006 09:14 | link | comments

Fetus in Fetu(via msnbc.com)

"A boy has been born in Chile with a fetus in his stomach in what doctors said was a rare case of "fetus in fetu" in which one twin becomes trapped inside another during pregnancy and continues to grow inside it."
"It had limbs and a partially developed spinal cord but no head and stood no chance of survival, doctors said."

--Politically incorrect response warning--

Oh, ewww (dropping pumpkin pie and coffee...). If I had to read it, so do you.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at November 25, 2006 06:43 | link | comments
body parts, ew

Black Friday Blues

So I forgot to take photos of the pumpkin pies (delicious) and the Salvador Dali apple pie (exactly as you imagine it). I also purposely forgot the photos of the failed kolacky (for you non-Polacks, you will find out what this is at Christmas time). For now just remember: never try to save pastry you think you've ruined--it's already a goner.

Let's see...I left the easy-cam at home when we went over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house so you can't see the great stuff we had there. I will say that nephew's girlfriend made a fabulous pumpkin pecan cheesecake that was the best new dessert I've had in a long time. There was ham, there was turkey, there was (of course!) green bean casserole, corn pudding, mom's famous mushrooms, stuffing (great with the mushrooms on top), mashed potatoes, sweet potatoe pie (with pecans) and too many desserts to count. I know I've forgotten some things but, you see, I'm still in a triptophan-induced stupor.

There was the usual family gossip and wifey and I had another what I like to call Out Of Town Family Ah-ha Moment when one of my cousins and her hubby finally realized that they had just met my partner for like the fifth time at a family gathering. Brother and sister gays, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's almost the same look straight people get when it dawns on them that they didn't stumble into just any old bar--only not as appalled. It never ceases to amaze me that, at the age I am (shhhhh!), my relatives are still coming to the light that I'm not married to a man.

What the hell did they think I was doing all these years? That I was just too busy to find a man? Too old? Hit too many branches falling out of the ugly tree?

Luckily for me, even with my conservative republican family (no religious fanatics, we), they seem to love us anyway.

And for that I will always be truly thankful.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at November 24, 2006 08:58 | link | comments
food

Part The Second: Ginger Snaps
(For my nieces)

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at November 22, 2006 15:45 | link | comments
food, recipes, holidays

Part The First: Chocolate Chunk & Walnut Cookies

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at November 22, 2006 12:16 | link | comments

Just A Teaser...

For the first time EVER I will be posting a pre-Thanksgiving Day Baking Marathon photo post. Hey, Florida Cracker does it all the time, Jeff, too,  and everybody loves it. Of course, everybody reads their blogs, too...

So, as soon as slumbering wifey awakes...

8:08 update: Still waiting for slumbering wifey...

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at November 22, 2006 06:07 | link | comments

Boycott Wal-Mart
Company Caves In to American Family Assoc.

“They’re all being extorted by the radical homosexual agenda.”

"A conservative group that had called on supporters to boycott Wal-Mart’s post-Thanksgiving day sales to protest the retailer’s support of gay-rights groups withdrew its objections Tuesday, saying the company had agreed to stay away from controversial causes."

Thank God. Thank God, I say, for that "radical homosexual agenda" psychosis to which the conservative right continues to cling. Pretty soon we're gonna be labled terrorists. Wait and see. The haters are running out of ammo.

Although, it seems to me, it's still awfully easy to attract hate these days.

So tell Wal-Mart to take a hike, Radical Gays. Fight fire with fire.

Sheesh. What a bunch of corporate wimps.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at November 22, 2006 06:00 | link | comments
news, wal-mart, gay

You Pretty Much Knew This Would Happen...
Tolls Going Up(via tbo.com)

When the expressway collapses through no fault of Tampans, we pay and pay and pay. And two years early, too.

Welcome, I say. Welcome to Tampa. Where it only costs $3.00 to travel fifteen miles.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at November 21, 2006 13:26 | link | comments (3)

"Hey, You! Yeah, You, You Lying, Embezzling, Whore!"
(Plus you're nuts)
Court rules bloggers cannot be sued for defamation

But first you have to post it then I have to re-post it. If I write it, I can be sued. If you write it, you can be sued. If you write it and I re-post it, nada for me.

Could somebody please post something awful about my former landlord so I can repost it?

Bless you.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at November 21, 2006 07:30 | link | comments
news, blogging, bitches

Ta-Ta TomKat

Hey, AM: Didja notice how I never once wrote anything about THE WEDDING? Not even about how Tom stood on a box for the formal wedding photo (one story noted wittily that he was probably standing on the pre-nup). Not even how Brooke Shields is suddenly his and Katie's best pal. I didn't even poke fun at the "Scientology Wedding" thingy (what the fuuuu...?).

It's over.

Now we can start placing our bets on when the breakup will occur...Celebrity Divorce Pool.

Message to straight people: You really ought to appreciate the institution of marriage a little more. The way you've screwed it up, it's a wonder we gays want to marry at all.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at November 21, 2006 06:54 | link | comments (4)
gay unions, tomkat, celebrity crap

How to Manipulate a Statistic
(Or: Painting With a Broad Brush 101)

Was reading the news this morning when I came across this. Seems as though an Ohio study (start your engines) found that every, single, dog owner of  so-called "vicious breeds" had at least one stop at the cop shop for one reason or another.

The study also noted, in a random, neocon sort of way, that bully dog owners had records of "significantly more criminal convictions — including crimes against children — than owners of licensed, gentler dogs such as beagles..."

So next time you see me walking one of our pit-bull mixes, you might want to cross to the other side of the street. I could be a child molester, a convicted criminal, even have outstanding parking tickets! I guess the fact that we didn't ask the biological background of our "rescued" (hate that term) dogs marks us for life as probable criminals. Is HCSO going to begin a policy of stopping dog-walkers by bad-boy breed  (famously akitas, any type of put bull, rottweilers and chows--although everyone knows, ankle biters are the most-busted)?

Like we said in kid-dom, "Not hardly." But those Ohio people with their local information getting picked up by msnbc.com and looking for all the world like a sweeping generalization should just concentrate on catching the criminals, not perusing animal registration records looking for coincidences that can be used, once again, to discriminate against responsible dogs and dog owners.

Besides, how vicious is this?

 

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at November 19, 2006 08:46 | link | comments (1)
news, dogs, pit bulls

Quick, get the life preservers, 'cause it's breaking news.

Posted by: Likes2mtnbike at November 15, 2006 07:33 | link | comments
headline of the day